Absense of medication for heartbreaks...

Seems to be a very sorry state of affairs indeed nowadays. Yeah, too many love affairs ending up, inflicting a lot of pain on the poor hapless souls....looking at only two directions for mercy - God or the makers of Jack Daniels(downwards.........). Well the pain here can be best described as a spasmatic searing sensation, most often than not having an upwards orientation starting from stomach via ribcage while touching the periphery of human heart(in all its pumping glory) and proceeding towards brain and perhaps ending up as an electric storm and finally withering away in the limits of human aura, this being an ode to the law of conservation of energy.
Well, yes, that is a lot different from the conventional pains that we encounter in our everyday existence but that still doesn't deter me from crying out loud lamenting the absence of its cure! Science where art thou?? Mortals are suffering! You are supposed to explain everything, right?
Alright, even if we dismiss the physical aspect as being frivolous and ascribe everything to be mental, why aren't there institutions for "Love Rehabilitation" as they exist there for drug & alcohol abuse? Both form of abuses lead a person to an unknown, but a fabulous looking but highly unreal world!
Ala Merovingian in Matrix III - "It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity..."
Well, what to say, I just silently push my shoulder forward for the girls, who, by the way, don't even glance at it(shit!!!), and murmur tough nothings laced with agreeable contempt against girls with guys, who, by the way, don't have an ear for them. At those stupid moments, I just wish like hell for a panacea that could take its own course for emancipating these tortured souls from their even more gawddammit existences.
Some antidotes I just wish existed:
Love Serum:
Have a shot, zoom on any desirables, and may we falleth gracefully in love!!Ummm..??...I guess we can safely modify the modus operandi for guys, who can gleefully let the girls take the shot and then fall in front in an as circular picture perfect framesque manner as husbands/lovers do in Bollywood movies for karvachauth.
Pluses : Only a diamond can cut another diamond.
Minuses: Not sure about poisons though!

Heartbroken identification & subsidization:
Special cards could be issued to individuals certifying them to be "Heartbrokens" with perhaps a cracked heart as their insignia(yah it IS clichéd), after a careful scrutinization of their socio-amouric history and verification of the same by their friends and family. Ex's should be strictly barred from taking a part, or even taking a stand, and should be encouraged to remain mostly invisible during the time investigations are on. The subsidies list may include-
1. Free Booze
2. Free Booze
3. More Free Booze
Pluses : Would largely add to the peace and prosperity of the general populace as both perpetrators & bearers of sorrow would remain happily on cloud number nine.
Minuses : I would rather be biased :-)...... NONE!!

Voluntary amnesia inflictors/ MIB's Neutralizers:
Would definitely go down as mankind's greatest inventions, ever. Just click it, and in a flash,
you fuhget it....wha??!!!!
Pluses : Greatest boon for actual sufferers like me!
Minuses : Politicians would go on a rampage.

Hordes of Floyd/Blues/Kishore merchandise stored together:
A great way to, ah..not exactly kick ass, but yes, celebrate your single existence along with Bagpiper club soda(aka teen yaar). But please make sure the third one is not an already harassed soul like me!
Pluses : Nice way to temporary relief!
Minuses : Serious possibility of either your roommate or the person you are talking to over the phone going mad.

Well, the last one would definitely be a (Docs u listening??) heartbreak healing balm/syrup/tablet, whateva...
Also, if possible, why cant these souls watch epic movies like all the 'K' ones(including Kisna) to understand real love, and the trials and tribulations one has to go through in order to find it!
The solutions are endless, only have to find that at-your-mouth courage as I proceed to handle another worthless slob, oozing out so much water that may actually very easily classify him as a self watering broomstick when held upside down!